Friday, July 24, 2009
Answer the damn phone woman!
Why is it that receptionists like to act like they own the business? Today the receptionist was trying to tell me that I had to help her answer the phones when I hear this really fucking annoying beep that resonates through the office if she's got the phones on "busy". I really want to stand there for a day and spy on her to see how often she purposely puts the phone on busy to see if anyone will answer. I did pick up that she puts the phone on busy close to her break times - must be her way of reminding the rest of us that it's almost time for her to go on break!!!! Wish I could work 7.5 hours a day and get paid for 8!
IT people are way too smart for the rest of us.....
Let me explain...one of the computer geeks sent out a company wide email explaining that they were aware that the system was very slow. The IT guy used the word "latency" to describe it. Apparently he received too many replies from people requesting the definition of the word!
It's such a lazy world we live in, isn't it? What ever happened to fucking dictionaries? Get this, there's a website that you can look up the meaning of words! It's called dictionary.com! Can you imagine? Here's the follow up email the IT sent to everyone:
A few questions have been mentioned regarding the term "latency" in the previous message. The term is meant to describe a "lagging or slowness".
Sorry for the IT dialect and in the future any broadcasted messages will use a more common language and terminology.
Thanks
It's such a lazy world we live in, isn't it? What ever happened to fucking dictionaries? Get this, there's a website that you can look up the meaning of words! It's called dictionary.com! Can you imagine? Here's the follow up email the IT sent to everyone:
A few questions have been mentioned regarding the term "latency" in the previous message. The term is meant to describe a "lagging or slowness".
Sorry for the IT dialect and in the future any broadcasted messages will use a more common language and terminology.
Thanks
How is wrapping presents work related?
So on Tuesday I have to fill in for the receptionist in the morning. Why? Because she has to go wrap presents! Does this seem like a justifiable reason to ask someone to fill in for you and do your job? I don't think so.
happy hour
So, I went out for happy hour with a coworker. Mind you, I'm the new person. So I got the gossip. The HR person doesn't have time for new people, doesn't that figure? The Partners are all too busy to worry if I'm doing a good job. The office manager doesn't have a clue what I do. Hmm.....
I'm starting to wonder where the hell I stand. It's strange because I thought that what happens on The Offiice was just TV, but seriously, there are offices that really don't give a shit what their employees do!
I'm starting to wonder where the hell I stand. It's strange because I thought that what happens on The Offiice was just TV, but seriously, there are offices that really don't give a shit what their employees do!
Business meeting etiquette
From a business etiquette presentation at work I found. Seriously, who comes up with this crap?????? So these are guidelines in case you go out for dinner with some clients:
Napkins:
When to pick up? 30 second rule.
Where to place when excusing yourself from the table mid-meal?
Where to place when you're through eating?
Place on seat of your chair or left-hand side of place setting when excusing yourself from the table
Place napkin on right side of place setting when you're finished and leaving the table (because we all know that left handed placement is wrong, wrong, so wrong)
Question: Is it acceptable to ask for a different color napkin at a restaurant? (who has ever asked for a different colored napkin? wtf?)
Do Not
Push your plate/chair away when done
Reach across the table
Use toothpick publicly
Season food before tasting (why is this in bold? why can't you season food before tasting? i don't know about you, but i like pepper on my mashed potatoes!)
Blow, pop or crack gum
Put on make up at the table
Blow your nose at the table
Ask for a doggy bag
Blow on your food to cool it down (they must prefer you to burn your mouth on food instead)
Napkins:
When to pick up? 30 second rule.
Where to place when excusing yourself from the table mid-meal?
Where to place when you're through eating?
Place on seat of your chair or left-hand side of place setting when excusing yourself from the table
Place napkin on right side of place setting when you're finished and leaving the table (because we all know that left handed placement is wrong, wrong, so wrong)
Question: Is it acceptable to ask for a different color napkin at a restaurant? (who has ever asked for a different colored napkin? wtf?)
Do Not
Push your plate/chair away when done
Reach across the table
Use toothpick publicly
Season food before tasting (why is this in bold? why can't you season food before tasting? i don't know about you, but i like pepper on my mashed potatoes!)
Blow, pop or crack gum
Put on make up at the table
Blow your nose at the table
Ask for a doggy bag
Blow on your food to cool it down (they must prefer you to burn your mouth on food instead)
Dress Policy
I've been saving up these blogs so bear with me. Here's one that I couldn't pass up. The Dress Code Policy.......what the fuck are Gabardines??
Slacks – Appropriate: Slacks normally should be pressed and have an obvious, permanent, formal crease. Gabardines, wool tropical, dress corduroys, and cotton slacks are suggested acceptable items. For example: Some "Dockers" look like dress slacks and would be acceptable. Also, sports coats are optional and may be a good idea to have on hand in case of surprise client meetings.
Accessories. All accessories, jewelry, makeup, fingernail polish, etc. should be professional in appearance. Earrings are to be worn in the lobe of the ear only with no more than two earrings per ear. Piercing of the face or any other visible part of the body, visible toe rings, and visible tattoos are not acceptable.
A note on outerwear. Coats generally should be appropriate to the outfit you are wearing. It would generally not be appropriate to wear a ski jacket, jean jacket or sports team jacket. Again, clients do see us coming and going both at their office and our own.
Slacks – Appropriate: Slacks normally should be pressed and have an obvious, permanent, formal crease. Gabardines, wool tropical, dress corduroys, and cotton slacks are suggested acceptable items. For example: Some "Dockers" look like dress slacks and would be acceptable. Also, sports coats are optional and may be a good idea to have on hand in case of surprise client meetings.
Accessories. All accessories, jewelry, makeup, fingernail polish, etc. should be professional in appearance. Earrings are to be worn in the lobe of the ear only with no more than two earrings per ear. Piercing of the face or any other visible part of the body, visible toe rings, and visible tattoos are not acceptable.
A note on outerwear. Coats generally should be appropriate to the outfit you are wearing. It would generally not be appropriate to wear a ski jacket, jean jacket or sports team jacket. Again, clients do see us coming and going both at their office and our own.
House of Reps AKA Whiny Office Sponges
Gotta love these people who think they're going to make everybody happy at the office -
House of Representatives Summary
Purpose
To have a forum in each of the locations and on a state-wide basis for employees to communicate concerns or issues. The intent is to provide another communication channel to you for things that you may not be comfortable going to your LOB leader or coach to discuss.
Goal
· Each location representative group will have members that represent different levels of experience as well as different lines of business.
· There should be between 4 and 7 people in each group.
o Mark in ***** will organize and lead the House.
o Jane will organize and lead the House in ****
o Amy will organize and lead the House in *****
· Issues that employees have should be addressed to a member of the House of Representatives.
· Each location will have a suggestion box for anonymous suggestions.
· Each House of Representatives will hold an annual initial organizational meeting with its location leaders before November 30th. The purpose for this meeting is as follows:
o Discuss the purpose of the House of Representatives.
o Discuss "Best Practices" for the House
o Assign responsibilities for addressing various tasks for the House
o Schedule date for the next meeting
· Each house of representative will meet every 4 months
· Each subsequent meeting should:
- address the issues that were raised at previous meetings and how they have been resolved..
- Address any new issues..
- Assign responsibilities for addressing these issues.
- A summary of issues discussed should be forwarded to ****
· New representatives may be added every year.
· Any questions on the house of representatives should be addressed to
House of Representatives Summary
Purpose
To have a forum in each of the locations and on a state-wide basis for employees to communicate concerns or issues. The intent is to provide another communication channel to you for things that you may not be comfortable going to your LOB leader or coach to discuss.
Goal
· Each location representative group will have members that represent different levels of experience as well as different lines of business.
· There should be between 4 and 7 people in each group.
o Mark in ***** will organize and lead the House.
o Jane will organize and lead the House in ****
o Amy will organize and lead the House in *****
· Issues that employees have should be addressed to a member of the House of Representatives.
· Each location will have a suggestion box for anonymous suggestions.
· Each House of Representatives will hold an annual initial organizational meeting with its location leaders before November 30th. The purpose for this meeting is as follows:
o Discuss the purpose of the House of Representatives.
o Discuss "Best Practices" for the House
o Assign responsibilities for addressing various tasks for the House
o Schedule date for the next meeting
· Each house of representative will meet every 4 months
· Each subsequent meeting should:
- address the issues that were raised at previous meetings and how they have been resolved..
- Address any new issues..
- Assign responsibilities for addressing these issues.
- A summary of issues discussed should be forwarded to ****
· New representatives may be added every year.
· Any questions on the house of representatives should be addressed to
Suggestion Box (or Pig - whichever works)
So, I'm in a new job now - another office. I thought that having a suggestion box was one of those things that was a mystery - like the mystery suggestion box - but no, it does exist! Although in this case, it's a piggy bank that has been made into a suggestion box. I want to so badly break it and see what's inside!
Other than that, I do have more to report on....but I should probably organize the print room since the FedEx materials seem to be scattered about. Fun fun at the office!
Other than that, I do have more to report on....but I should probably organize the print room since the FedEx materials seem to be scattered about. Fun fun at the office!
word of the day from dictionary.com
I'm part nerd since I subscribe to the dictionary.com word of the day, but seriously folks, check out these words and I challenge you to tell me they don't relate to at least one coworker of yours!!!
tutelary ..TOO-tuh-lair-ee; TYOO-.., adjective:
Having the guardianship or charge of protecting a person or a thing; guardian; protecting; as, "tutelary goddesses."
bloviate ..BLOH-vee-ayt.., intransitive verb:
To speak or write at length in a pompous or boastful manner.
recalcitrant ..rih-KAL-sih-truhnt.., adjective:
Stubbornly resistant to and defiant of authority or restraint.
Come on! You know you thought of at least someone in your office when you read those!!!!!!!!
tutelary ..TOO-tuh-lair-ee; TYOO-.., adjective:
Having the guardianship or charge of protecting a person or a thing; guardian; protecting; as, "tutelary goddesses."
bloviate ..BLOH-vee-ayt.., intransitive verb:
To speak or write at length in a pompous or boastful manner.
recalcitrant ..rih-KAL-sih-truhnt.., adjective:
Stubbornly resistant to and defiant of authority or restraint.
Come on! You know you thought of at least someone in your office when you read those!!!!!!!!
A website you can check out if you're bored at work!!
Just came across this. Too bad I couldn't have seen this website when I was still working, but never fear my friends, I have gotten myself a new job in an accounting firm - so I will most definitely have new material......in the meantime:
http://www.disturbingauctions.com/
http://www.disturbingauctions.com/
disturbing things overheard in the office last week
Men who pick their scalps, yes scalps, like pimples or ingrown hairs on their heads and eat them, yes, eat them.
Her allergies that arent real allergies, but the symtoms are the same as real allergies that make her throat dry so she gets very phlegmy. And her friend who was just sick and was also very phlegmy - why are you telling me this again???
She had to take pictures of her dad holding onto his cucumbers because they were so big and then she had to email the pictures to her sister in Texas so her dad could ask her can you even grow cucumbers this big in Texas???
Her allergies that arent real allergies, but the symtoms are the same as real allergies that make her throat dry so she gets very phlegmy. And her friend who was just sick and was also very phlegmy - why are you telling me this again???
She had to take pictures of her dad holding onto his cucumbers because they were so big and then she had to email the pictures to her sister in Texas so her dad could ask her can you even grow cucumbers this big in Texas???
crazy germ lady!!!
Every office has a germ fanatic. Heres an example of one here at our office. The crazy lady back-up receptionist. The following email was received by me from the normal receptionist:
I would have thought by nowthat we had seen all the weird stuff, but it just keeps coming. Shes a veritable storehouse of the odd and unbelievable.
So I come back from lunch and she says something like Sorry I used one of your antibacterial wipes but there was a perfume smell on the phone and Im allergic to perfume!
Okay that makes sense. Except for the fact that smell is from the exact same kind of antibacterial wipes you just used!
I would have thought by nowthat we had seen all the weird stuff, but it just keeps coming. Shes a veritable storehouse of the odd and unbelievable.
So I come back from lunch and she says something like Sorry I used one of your antibacterial wipes but there was a perfume smell on the phone and Im allergic to perfume!
Okay that makes sense. Except for the fact that smell is from the exact same kind of antibacterial wipes you just used!
I hope I never get a spastic colon!!
cause my coworker might hold it against me if we ever get into an argument! So this morning my coworker goes on to tell me that she had gotten into an argument with her former boss and her boss had a spastic colon so she used that info for ammunition for her argument by saying (bitch, bitch, bitch) and youre the one with the spastic colon and I realize you have this disorder, but couldnt you clean up after yourself!!!
So I didnt know what a spastic colon was, so I looked it up and this is what I found. But the picture she painted in my mind about her boss shitting all over the place was not something I desired first thing in the morning.
Spastic Colon is a physical - not psychological - disorder that affects mainly the bowel, or colon, which is also called the large intestine. The bowel is the part of the digestive system that makes and stores stool. Spastic Colon is characterized by lower abdominal pain or discomfort, diarrhea, constipation (or alternating diarrhea/constipation), gas, bloating, and nausea.
So I didnt know what a spastic colon was, so I looked it up and this is what I found. But the picture she painted in my mind about her boss shitting all over the place was not something I desired first thing in the morning.
Spastic Colon is a physical - not psychological - disorder that affects mainly the bowel, or colon, which is also called the large intestine. The bowel is the part of the digestive system that makes and stores stool. Spastic Colon is characterized by lower abdominal pain or discomfort, diarrhea, constipation (or alternating diarrhea/constipation), gas, bloating, and nausea.
Company Picnic Flop!
We have a total of about 85 employees at our company. Guess how many showed up to the company picnic? 19. That's roughly about 22% of staff. But the best is that the owner of the company neither rsvp'd nor did he show up, but he was nice enough to send all of the staff the following message:
Hello: I am jealous. My wife and I had to go out of town this past week end and could not attend. It sounds like a great time. I look forward to the pictures and stories.
Guess what - we don't have any damn pictures because there was nobody to take pictures of!!!
Hello: I am jealous. My wife and I had to go out of town this past week end and could not attend. It sounds like a great time. I look forward to the pictures and stories.
Guess what - we don't have any damn pictures because there was nobody to take pictures of!!!
office potluck thief
I got this from my mother who also works in an office:
Can you believe this???? We had a potluck today & somebody stole one of the two hams from the fridge!!
Can you believe this???? We had a potluck today & somebody stole one of the two hams from the fridge!!
They're all covered with filthy germs, aren't they Smithers?
The woman who sits next to me came in late (again!!!) this morning, all stuffed up, coughing, and complaining. Why do people go to work when they're sick? Do they not realize that the stuff spreads? I swear, if I get sick, I'm going to be pissed!
hungry client alert!
So we have some demanding clients. But this one takes the cake. We offer our clients water, pop, coffee you get the gist. During a meeting, this client asks the architect who works here if we happen to have any microwave popcorn. Instead of laughing it off, the architect actually asks the receptionist to send out an all staff email asking if anyone would be willing to donate a bag of popcorn if available. And to top that off, he was going to have a student or somebody run to the store to go get some!! Well, nobody was giving up their hidden stash of popcorn so the client ended up empty handed.
A few weeks later this appeared hanging on the wall in the breakroom:
A sealed popcorn bag with a note that read Emergency Popcorn open only in the event of a hungry client
A few weeks later this appeared hanging on the wall in the breakroom:
A sealed popcorn bag with a note that read Emergency Popcorn open only in the event of a hungry client
quiz from the receptionist
our very talented receptionist made this quiz up - it's a long one, but worth reading!
What does your office etiquette say about you? Take this quiz and find out!
1) When I am done using a common area, I like to:
a) Leave my garbage and personal belongings there because my momma works here.
b) Pick up after myself. As much I as would like fresh baked cookies on a daily basis, my momma does not work here.
c) Who has time to use a common area?
2) When I need a conference room, I like to:
a) Plan ahead by looking at the calendar and scheduling a room.
b) Yell SHOTGUN when Im in site of it.
c) I dont have to answer this because I never use a conference room.
3) When a meeting gets cancelled and I no longer need a conference room, I usually:
a) Leave it on the calendar. It makes me feel official.
b) Delete it! Someone else might want the room.
c) I dont have to answer this question either cause I dont ever use the conference rooms.
4) When I get here and when I leave, I like to:
a) Use the sign in sheet. How will Ed McMahon know where to find me when I win the Publishers Clearing House?
b) Not use the sign in sheet. I like to play hide & seek!
c) Sign in sheet? What sign in sheet?
5) When I need to order food for a meeting, I find it best to:
a) Let the receptionist know at least 1 day beforehand. Who likes vending machine food?
b) Wait until the last minute. Who doesnt like vending machine food?
c) Send out an APB for microwave popcorn.
6) After taking the last drop of coffee, I find it best to:
a) Drink right away - I like my coffee hot!
b) I dont have to answer this question either because I bought stock in Dunn Bros./Caribou/Starbucks.
c) Make more. It cant be any more difficult than being an engineering genius/architectural prodigy/interior designer extraordinaire!
7) The most satisfying part of using a dish/cup/glass/fork/knife/spoon/etc. is:
a) Washing it off. I know my momma doesnt work here. Plus, I like to see things come full circle!
b) Leave it in the sink. I think 3 day old clam chowda smells great.
c) Who has time to eat?
8) Sometimes I make a mess with spaghetti sauce/coffee grounds/bread crumbs/pizza grease/etc. When this happens I find it best to:
a) Leave it how it is it needs to breathe like a fine wine.
b) Wipe it up. No one wants to see my food guts all over the microwave/countertop/table.
9) If I take the last of something (such as: bond paper, paper cups, toilet paper, random office supplies, etc.), I:
a) Dont tell anybody. Theyll reappear like magic!
b) Tell the receptionist. Then theyll reappear like magic.
10)When I have a meeting, I like to:
a) Go MIA and keep people waiting.
b) Be in the building and ready for the meeting. I know keeping people waiting makes a bad impression.
c) I dont have to answer this one either I dont go to meetings!
11)On my birthday, I am sure to bring my fellow co-workers:
a) Fresh hot gormet coffee
b) Krispy Creme Donuts
c) Home made chocolate chip cookies
d) Any or all of the above
12) I think this test is:
a) Funny
b) Enlightening
c) Not directed at me personally
d) Written by someone who thinks it is a pleasure to know & work with everyone here
e) All of the above!
I picked all bold answers!
Rating: Four gold stars & brownie points!
Analysis: You are fine upstanding member of the community! You know that your behavior helps to create the environment around you, and you take an active role to create that environment. You have common sense and foresight and you know how to use it. You are a take charge kind of person full of self initiative. You are respectful of other peoples time and energy. You do your best to do your own part and not create more work for others. Those around you find you a joy to work with!
Recommendation: Keep up the good work!
I picked everything but the bold answers. (Although no one falls into this category, the test would not be complete without it).
Rating: One gold star.
Rating: You are a fly-by-seat-of-your-pants kind of person! You like to push the envelope and see what happens. You dont trouble yourself with the small things in life. You believe in supernatural things such as: ESP, telekinesis, money trees, and little helper fairies. Those around you find you amusing.
Recommendation: Time to start exercising - your office etiquette muscle is looking a bit flabby!
What does your office etiquette say about you? Take this quiz and find out!
1) When I am done using a common area, I like to:
a) Leave my garbage and personal belongings there because my momma works here.
b) Pick up after myself. As much I as would like fresh baked cookies on a daily basis, my momma does not work here.
c) Who has time to use a common area?
2) When I need a conference room, I like to:
a) Plan ahead by looking at the calendar and scheduling a room.
b) Yell SHOTGUN when Im in site of it.
c) I dont have to answer this because I never use a conference room.
3) When a meeting gets cancelled and I no longer need a conference room, I usually:
a) Leave it on the calendar. It makes me feel official.
b) Delete it! Someone else might want the room.
c) I dont have to answer this question either cause I dont ever use the conference rooms.
4) When I get here and when I leave, I like to:
a) Use the sign in sheet. How will Ed McMahon know where to find me when I win the Publishers Clearing House?
b) Not use the sign in sheet. I like to play hide & seek!
c) Sign in sheet? What sign in sheet?
5) When I need to order food for a meeting, I find it best to:
a) Let the receptionist know at least 1 day beforehand. Who likes vending machine food?
b) Wait until the last minute. Who doesnt like vending machine food?
c) Send out an APB for microwave popcorn.
6) After taking the last drop of coffee, I find it best to:
a) Drink right away - I like my coffee hot!
b) I dont have to answer this question either because I bought stock in Dunn Bros./Caribou/Starbucks.
c) Make more. It cant be any more difficult than being an engineering genius/architectural prodigy/interior designer extraordinaire!
7) The most satisfying part of using a dish/cup/glass/fork/knife/spoon/etc. is:
a) Washing it off. I know my momma doesnt work here. Plus, I like to see things come full circle!
b) Leave it in the sink. I think 3 day old clam chowda smells great.
c) Who has time to eat?
8) Sometimes I make a mess with spaghetti sauce/coffee grounds/bread crumbs/pizza grease/etc. When this happens I find it best to:
a) Leave it how it is it needs to breathe like a fine wine.
b) Wipe it up. No one wants to see my food guts all over the microwave/countertop/table.
9) If I take the last of something (such as: bond paper, paper cups, toilet paper, random office supplies, etc.), I:
a) Dont tell anybody. Theyll reappear like magic!
b) Tell the receptionist. Then theyll reappear like magic.
10)When I have a meeting, I like to:
a) Go MIA and keep people waiting.
b) Be in the building and ready for the meeting. I know keeping people waiting makes a bad impression.
c) I dont have to answer this one either I dont go to meetings!
11)On my birthday, I am sure to bring my fellow co-workers:
a) Fresh hot gormet coffee
b) Krispy Creme Donuts
c) Home made chocolate chip cookies
d) Any or all of the above
12) I think this test is:
a) Funny
b) Enlightening
c) Not directed at me personally
d) Written by someone who thinks it is a pleasure to know & work with everyone here
e) All of the above!
I picked all bold answers!
Rating: Four gold stars & brownie points!
Analysis: You are fine upstanding member of the community! You know that your behavior helps to create the environment around you, and you take an active role to create that environment. You have common sense and foresight and you know how to use it. You are a take charge kind of person full of self initiative. You are respectful of other peoples time and energy. You do your best to do your own part and not create more work for others. Those around you find you a joy to work with!
Recommendation: Keep up the good work!
I picked everything but the bold answers. (Although no one falls into this category, the test would not be complete without it).
Rating: One gold star.
Rating: You are a fly-by-seat-of-your-pants kind of person! You like to push the envelope and see what happens. You dont trouble yourself with the small things in life. You believe in supernatural things such as: ESP, telekinesis, money trees, and little helper fairies. Those around you find you amusing.
Recommendation: Time to start exercising - your office etiquette muscle is looking a bit flabby!
is this boss biased?
the difference between being fired and giving a notice to resign - can you spot the favoritism?
People who have been fired:
Jeanette's last day with ____ (company name withheld) as a student intern was last Friday.
Ben's position as a Project Architect with ____ (company name withheld) was eliminated yesterday. We wish him luck in his future employment opportunities.
People who give their notice:
Our wonderful Amy has bought a house in her home state and will be moving to be closer to her family. Amy will remain at ____ (company name withheld) until she moves in mid-September. Amy has done a great job and has been a huge resource to our Admin. Staff and Accounting, and I will miss her a ton. Good Luck Amy!
People who have been fired:
Jeanette's last day with ____ (company name withheld) as a student intern was last Friday.
Ben's position as a Project Architect with ____ (company name withheld) was eliminated yesterday. We wish him luck in his future employment opportunities.
People who give their notice:
Our wonderful Amy has bought a house in her home state and will be moving to be closer to her family. Amy will remain at ____ (company name withheld) until she moves in mid-September. Amy has done a great job and has been a huge resource to our Admin. Staff and Accounting, and I will miss her a ton. Good Luck Amy!
shrooms in vegas?
So my coworker acts like a tweeker - she always gets really excited when people talk about drugs. The other day she finally admitted that on her 40th birthday she did some shrooms with her friend in Vegas. 40th birthday? What the ? She also told me yesterday about how she used to live in this trailer park and her neighbor had a boyfriend who would wear hair nets because bugs would fall off the ceiling into his hair.
Honestly, why does our company hire such people?
Honestly, why does our company hire such people?
receptionist rant.....
an email i received from the receptionist:
Ways to Spend Time
Method #1:
Step 1) Email **** (receptionist's name withdrawn) and ask her to print up an envelope
Step 2) Grab the letter you need to mail
Step 3) Walk over to the elevator
Step 4) Press elevator button
Step 5) Wait for elevator
Step 6) Ride elevator to 1st floor
Step 7) Walk over to **** and ask her to print up the envelope you just emailed her about
Step 8) Repeat step 3
Step 9) Repeat step 4
Step 10) Repeat step 5
Step 11) Repeat step 6 (only in opposite direction)
Step 12) Walk to desk
Step 13) Email ***** and ask her to print up an envelope
Step 14) Repeat steps 2-12 cause you were too stupid to grab both letters when you came down the first time.
Estimated time usage: 10-15 minutes (times vary depending on your luck with the elevator).
Method #2:
Step 1) Do what everyone else does and place the letters in the outgoing mailbox when you come downstairs to get your mail/go home/go to lunch/etc.
Estimated time usage: 10-15 seconds (times vary depending on your ability to remember where the outgoing mailbox is located).
Ways to Spend Time
Method #1:
Step 1) Email **** (receptionist's name withdrawn) and ask her to print up an envelope
Step 2) Grab the letter you need to mail
Step 3) Walk over to the elevator
Step 4) Press elevator button
Step 5) Wait for elevator
Step 6) Ride elevator to 1st floor
Step 7) Walk over to **** and ask her to print up the envelope you just emailed her about
Step 8) Repeat step 3
Step 9) Repeat step 4
Step 10) Repeat step 5
Step 11) Repeat step 6 (only in opposite direction)
Step 12) Walk to desk
Step 13) Email ***** and ask her to print up an envelope
Step 14) Repeat steps 2-12 cause you were too stupid to grab both letters when you came down the first time.
Estimated time usage: 10-15 minutes (times vary depending on your luck with the elevator).
Method #2:
Step 1) Do what everyone else does and place the letters in the outgoing mailbox when you come downstairs to get your mail/go home/go to lunch/etc.
Estimated time usage: 10-15 seconds (times vary depending on your ability to remember where the outgoing mailbox is located).
my new little poem
Data entry, data entry
Numbers running through my brain
People calling, overhead pages
Faxes and mail what a fucking pain
What monotony
Each day more frightful than the next
Waiting in anticipation
For two quarters worth of bonus checks
Starting early, leaving late
Overtime without pay
Skipping lunch
Deadlines
What do you mean the fucking copier is jammed again?!?!
Numbers running through my brain
People calling, overhead pages
Faxes and mail what a fucking pain
What monotony
Each day more frightful than the next
Waiting in anticipation
For two quarters worth of bonus checks
Starting early, leaving late
Overtime without pay
Skipping lunch
Deadlines
What do you mean the fucking copier is jammed again?!?!
the milking room
Mothers room? Family room? I call it a milking room. Do other offices have these rooms made for women who return from maternity leave to pump? Our office finally decided it was time to make a room other than the bathroom (where a few of us had the joy of using how sanitary is that?) where new moms would be able to relax and pump their milk without disturbances.
Well the idea has just been an idea. You cant really have any open spaces in this office without it being claimed by someone else. The same is true for office furniture. If theres a spare table or chair, it will soon belong to someone else. Such is office life.
Well the idea has just been an idea. You cant really have any open spaces in this office without it being claimed by someone else. The same is true for office furniture. If theres a spare table or chair, it will soon belong to someone else. Such is office life.
internet usage at work
from the IT guy:
I have given a report to the Partners regarding increased Internet Usage. Internet usage is for Project related research only. Some of you who use personal time for Internet must be done after hours. That means after 5:30 PM, regardless of your work schedule. Internet usage is disruptive and contagious.
Internet is NOT to be used for any of the following purposes:
Music/Radio/Video streaming
Downloading unrelated Work programs or Files
Instant Messaging/outsourced Email (MSN, Yahoo, G-mail, etc)
Internet Games/Gambling/Sports
Pornography of course
Just plain Browsing
I have given a report to the Partners regarding increased Internet Usage. Internet usage is for Project related research only. Some of you who use personal time for Internet must be done after hours. That means after 5:30 PM, regardless of your work schedule. Internet usage is disruptive and contagious.
Internet is NOT to be used for any of the following purposes:
Music/Radio/Video streaming
Downloading unrelated Work programs or Files
Instant Messaging/outsourced Email (MSN, Yahoo, G-mail, etc)
Internet Games/Gambling/Sports
Pornography of course
Just plain Browsing
inspirational artwork? what the ?
inspirational artwork? what the ?
Current mood: blah
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
So this morning I walk into work and my coworker - wait - let me rewind. Let me tell you a little about this woman. First of all, she's crazy. Secondly, this woman did way too many drugs in her lifetime. She's like a walking timebomb waiting to go off. She reminds me of the type of woman who is getting older and she's been a bitch all her life so she's trying to redeem herself - which brings me to this morning.
Perfect example - she brought in this huge framed "inspirational" poster that started with the words "The world is our classroom. I have learned that" blah blah blah. It literally was way too long to justify interrupting my work day to read. Thankfully she put it facing herself so I don't and other people don't have to read it.
Anyhow, perfect example of how she's trying to redeem herself. She's had a shitty life - I can tell that. But buying inspirational bullshit posters aren't going to send you to heaven any faster than the next guy.
Oh well....just another day in the life of a admin assistant.
Current mood: blah
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
So this morning I walk into work and my coworker - wait - let me rewind. Let me tell you a little about this woman. First of all, she's crazy. Secondly, this woman did way too many drugs in her lifetime. She's like a walking timebomb waiting to go off. She reminds me of the type of woman who is getting older and she's been a bitch all her life so she's trying to redeem herself - which brings me to this morning.
Perfect example - she brought in this huge framed "inspirational" poster that started with the words "The world is our classroom. I have learned that" blah blah blah. It literally was way too long to justify interrupting my work day to read. Thankfully she put it facing herself so I don't and other people don't have to read it.
Anyhow, perfect example of how she's trying to redeem herself. She's had a shitty life - I can tell that. But buying inspirational bullshit posters aren't going to send you to heaven any faster than the next guy.
Oh well....just another day in the life of a admin assistant.
Office rant #1
These following rants were taken from a myspace page that I started years ago. I hope you enjoy them.
My first "blog"
Alright here it goes. Thursday - today we found out that we're getting someone in to take care of our mouse problem. Yesterday the water was turned off for no reason but it might have been because the water bill hadn't been paid. Tuesday was end of the pay period, and of course everyone and their fricken mother had to interrupt me. Monday sucked cause it was the first day of the week.
Tomorrow - TGIF!
My first "blog"
Alright here it goes. Thursday - today we found out that we're getting someone in to take care of our mouse problem. Yesterday the water was turned off for no reason but it might have been because the water bill hadn't been paid. Tuesday was end of the pay period, and of course everyone and their fricken mother had to interrupt me. Monday sucked cause it was the first day of the week.
Tomorrow - TGIF!
I'm starting a new blog - about humor.
Anything that makes me laugh or that I find would make others laugh. I'm going to start by transfering some of my experiences with working in an office setting. :)
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