Friday, July 24, 2009
Answer the damn phone woman!
Why is it that receptionists like to act like they own the business? Today the receptionist was trying to tell me that I had to help her answer the phones when I hear this really fucking annoying beep that resonates through the office if she's got the phones on "busy". I really want to stand there for a day and spy on her to see how often she purposely puts the phone on busy to see if anyone will answer. I did pick up that she puts the phone on busy close to her break times - must be her way of reminding the rest of us that it's almost time for her to go on break!!!! Wish I could work 7.5 hours a day and get paid for 8!
IT people are way too smart for the rest of us.....
Let me explain...one of the computer geeks sent out a company wide email explaining that they were aware that the system was very slow. The IT guy used the word "latency" to describe it. Apparently he received too many replies from people requesting the definition of the word!
It's such a lazy world we live in, isn't it? What ever happened to fucking dictionaries? Get this, there's a website that you can look up the meaning of words! It's called dictionary.com! Can you imagine? Here's the follow up email the IT sent to everyone:
A few questions have been mentioned regarding the term "latency" in the previous message. The term is meant to describe a "lagging or slowness".
Sorry for the IT dialect and in the future any broadcasted messages will use a more common language and terminology.
Thanks
It's such a lazy world we live in, isn't it? What ever happened to fucking dictionaries? Get this, there's a website that you can look up the meaning of words! It's called dictionary.com! Can you imagine? Here's the follow up email the IT sent to everyone:
A few questions have been mentioned regarding the term "latency" in the previous message. The term is meant to describe a "lagging or slowness".
Sorry for the IT dialect and in the future any broadcasted messages will use a more common language and terminology.
Thanks
How is wrapping presents work related?
So on Tuesday I have to fill in for the receptionist in the morning. Why? Because she has to go wrap presents! Does this seem like a justifiable reason to ask someone to fill in for you and do your job? I don't think so.
happy hour
So, I went out for happy hour with a coworker. Mind you, I'm the new person. So I got the gossip. The HR person doesn't have time for new people, doesn't that figure? The Partners are all too busy to worry if I'm doing a good job. The office manager doesn't have a clue what I do. Hmm.....
I'm starting to wonder where the hell I stand. It's strange because I thought that what happens on The Offiice was just TV, but seriously, there are offices that really don't give a shit what their employees do!
I'm starting to wonder where the hell I stand. It's strange because I thought that what happens on The Offiice was just TV, but seriously, there are offices that really don't give a shit what their employees do!
Business meeting etiquette
From a business etiquette presentation at work I found. Seriously, who comes up with this crap?????? So these are guidelines in case you go out for dinner with some clients:
Napkins:
When to pick up? 30 second rule.
Where to place when excusing yourself from the table mid-meal?
Where to place when you're through eating?
Place on seat of your chair or left-hand side of place setting when excusing yourself from the table
Place napkin on right side of place setting when you're finished and leaving the table (because we all know that left handed placement is wrong, wrong, so wrong)
Question: Is it acceptable to ask for a different color napkin at a restaurant? (who has ever asked for a different colored napkin? wtf?)
Do Not
Push your plate/chair away when done
Reach across the table
Use toothpick publicly
Season food before tasting (why is this in bold? why can't you season food before tasting? i don't know about you, but i like pepper on my mashed potatoes!)
Blow, pop or crack gum
Put on make up at the table
Blow your nose at the table
Ask for a doggy bag
Blow on your food to cool it down (they must prefer you to burn your mouth on food instead)
Napkins:
When to pick up? 30 second rule.
Where to place when excusing yourself from the table mid-meal?
Where to place when you're through eating?
Place on seat of your chair or left-hand side of place setting when excusing yourself from the table
Place napkin on right side of place setting when you're finished and leaving the table (because we all know that left handed placement is wrong, wrong, so wrong)
Question: Is it acceptable to ask for a different color napkin at a restaurant? (who has ever asked for a different colored napkin? wtf?)
Do Not
Push your plate/chair away when done
Reach across the table
Use toothpick publicly
Season food before tasting (why is this in bold? why can't you season food before tasting? i don't know about you, but i like pepper on my mashed potatoes!)
Blow, pop or crack gum
Put on make up at the table
Blow your nose at the table
Ask for a doggy bag
Blow on your food to cool it down (they must prefer you to burn your mouth on food instead)
Dress Policy
I've been saving up these blogs so bear with me. Here's one that I couldn't pass up. The Dress Code Policy.......what the fuck are Gabardines??
Slacks – Appropriate: Slacks normally should be pressed and have an obvious, permanent, formal crease. Gabardines, wool tropical, dress corduroys, and cotton slacks are suggested acceptable items. For example: Some "Dockers" look like dress slacks and would be acceptable. Also, sports coats are optional and may be a good idea to have on hand in case of surprise client meetings.
Accessories. All accessories, jewelry, makeup, fingernail polish, etc. should be professional in appearance. Earrings are to be worn in the lobe of the ear only with no more than two earrings per ear. Piercing of the face or any other visible part of the body, visible toe rings, and visible tattoos are not acceptable.
A note on outerwear. Coats generally should be appropriate to the outfit you are wearing. It would generally not be appropriate to wear a ski jacket, jean jacket or sports team jacket. Again, clients do see us coming and going both at their office and our own.
Slacks – Appropriate: Slacks normally should be pressed and have an obvious, permanent, formal crease. Gabardines, wool tropical, dress corduroys, and cotton slacks are suggested acceptable items. For example: Some "Dockers" look like dress slacks and would be acceptable. Also, sports coats are optional and may be a good idea to have on hand in case of surprise client meetings.
Accessories. All accessories, jewelry, makeup, fingernail polish, etc. should be professional in appearance. Earrings are to be worn in the lobe of the ear only with no more than two earrings per ear. Piercing of the face or any other visible part of the body, visible toe rings, and visible tattoos are not acceptable.
A note on outerwear. Coats generally should be appropriate to the outfit you are wearing. It would generally not be appropriate to wear a ski jacket, jean jacket or sports team jacket. Again, clients do see us coming and going both at their office and our own.
House of Reps AKA Whiny Office Sponges
Gotta love these people who think they're going to make everybody happy at the office -
House of Representatives Summary
Purpose
To have a forum in each of the locations and on a state-wide basis for employees to communicate concerns or issues. The intent is to provide another communication channel to you for things that you may not be comfortable going to your LOB leader or coach to discuss.
Goal
· Each location representative group will have members that represent different levels of experience as well as different lines of business.
· There should be between 4 and 7 people in each group.
o Mark in ***** will organize and lead the House.
o Jane will organize and lead the House in ****
o Amy will organize and lead the House in *****
· Issues that employees have should be addressed to a member of the House of Representatives.
· Each location will have a suggestion box for anonymous suggestions.
· Each House of Representatives will hold an annual initial organizational meeting with its location leaders before November 30th. The purpose for this meeting is as follows:
o Discuss the purpose of the House of Representatives.
o Discuss "Best Practices" for the House
o Assign responsibilities for addressing various tasks for the House
o Schedule date for the next meeting
· Each house of representative will meet every 4 months
· Each subsequent meeting should:
- address the issues that were raised at previous meetings and how they have been resolved..
- Address any new issues..
- Assign responsibilities for addressing these issues.
- A summary of issues discussed should be forwarded to ****
· New representatives may be added every year.
· Any questions on the house of representatives should be addressed to
House of Representatives Summary
Purpose
To have a forum in each of the locations and on a state-wide basis for employees to communicate concerns or issues. The intent is to provide another communication channel to you for things that you may not be comfortable going to your LOB leader or coach to discuss.
Goal
· Each location representative group will have members that represent different levels of experience as well as different lines of business.
· There should be between 4 and 7 people in each group.
o Mark in ***** will organize and lead the House.
o Jane will organize and lead the House in ****
o Amy will organize and lead the House in *****
· Issues that employees have should be addressed to a member of the House of Representatives.
· Each location will have a suggestion box for anonymous suggestions.
· Each House of Representatives will hold an annual initial organizational meeting with its location leaders before November 30th. The purpose for this meeting is as follows:
o Discuss the purpose of the House of Representatives.
o Discuss "Best Practices" for the House
o Assign responsibilities for addressing various tasks for the House
o Schedule date for the next meeting
· Each house of representative will meet every 4 months
· Each subsequent meeting should:
- address the issues that were raised at previous meetings and how they have been resolved..
- Address any new issues..
- Assign responsibilities for addressing these issues.
- A summary of issues discussed should be forwarded to ****
· New representatives may be added every year.
· Any questions on the house of representatives should be addressed to
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